homeward bound

Today I'm leaving Santa Cruz.  Many of my friends have mentioned in the past few days that I am their last link to this town.  Well, that link is being severed Today. 

Once Again I've done the whole leaving-the-country-forever thing with very little couth - not getting in touch with people until the last minute, hardly even saying goodbye to others, not being very available or organized or thoughtful when it comes to many of my friends.  I know they'll pass it off in the end and still love me, although I may not deserve it.  However let me say here that I will miss all my friends very, very much, and I hope to keep in better touch in the future.  Suddenly I am going to find myself in a working world where that work may be difficult, most likely very demanding, and very rewarding.  I am determined to enter this thing with my head up, my eyes open...and my priorities in line.  This is my hope, and my aspiration.

I wonder where I'll live in Petersburg, and who'll I'll be living with.  I don't know yet whether it will be an English-speaking peer or a Russian family.  I wonder how we'll get along.  I wonder if they'll like me.

Christopher has seen me through the avalanche of emotions that has befallen me these past few weeks.  I really don't know how to tell anyone how amazingly important he is to me.  We spent this summer in bliss, really, and in denial.  Now that I'm leaving him it seems cruel to both of us.  But we're tough, we're good people, and we know this is not an ending, but rather the beginning of a new chapter.  If that sounds cheesy, well...just deal.

Anyway, by tonight I'll be in Long Beach, the town of my childhood, and in less than a fortnight I'll be in Moscow, then finally the awaited St. Petersburg.  Moscow, again.  Oh, Moscow, whenever will I be rid of you?  Never, I suppose.  You will haunt me until you have left your mark deeply imbedded in my soul, until one cannot look at me without seeing your scar, until I have come to appreciate your blackened spirits and steely gaze.  You won't rest until I cannot live without you.  I know you Moscow...I do.

So!  Down to Long Beach we go. 
The Alexei, Christopher, and Allison show arriving soon!  Davay!  Poshli!